When The Waters Rise, The Rivers Sweep, And The Fire Burns

Pondering God's love in difficult times

Throughout the years I have had the experience of different Bible verses coming alive for me in ways they did not in the past, and that is especially true these past few years.  It is not that the Scripture passages are new to me, for I have preached and taught many of them.  Even so, as my days of darkness thrust me into an unfamiliar season of life, a variety of verses began to take on a new power, a greater significance, a more profound depth in my life.  Such is the case with Isaiah 43:1-4.

This passage recently came to mind once again in a surprising way as my wife and I were watching one of our favorite television series, an episode in which a baby had been born severely deformed and had only hours to live.  It was a heartbreaking moment, the helplessness of all was very real, and the lack of words obvious.  And yet, in that very moment the main character, an Anglican sister and midwife, held the baby close, gazed at the child with love and compassion, and then began to quote these words from the first few verses of Isaiah 43, “He who created you… He who formed you… fear not, says the Lord, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… you are precious and honored in my sight, and… I love you.”  As happens in film, the sister no sooner said “Amen,” than the baby took her last breath.  For a moment the sister was concerned, the baby had not been baptized according to Anglican tradition, something she could have done.  And, in that moment, I spoke words this fictional character could not hear, “Oh sister, do not fret, for you have already baptized the child with your tears and your words of assurance of God’s love.”

Now, that is TV.  All that happened in that episode took place in the allotted fifty minutes or so, all neat and tidy, offering the viewer the chance to ride the waves of expectation, experience the horror of a life cut short, shed a few tears, and feel the warmth of a love so great that the universe was birthed with each piece of that creation, no matter how great or small, being declared precious.  A great word, faith filled words, yes… but you and I know that in real life things like this happen at a much slower pace.  The pain is much deeper, the shattering of dreams more nightmarish, the darkness more foreboding, the ending less certain. 

I cannot give an exact date when this passage took on a new depth of meaning for me, providing an assurance and promise that began to lift me from the despair of my life crisis.  I often can tell you when and where a verse takes on new life, for I tend to place dates in my books and even my Bible that tell me when something struck home in a new way.  My wife Holly wasn’t aware of how much I did this especially in these last three years until I showed her a book that I read the first year of my recovery.  Each page was dated, cryptic notes were written in the margin as to what was going on, haunting questions were raised that were eating at my soul, and urgent prayers were voiced.  I showed Holly a few weeks ago how on one of those dates I recorded all that was going on inside of me as I said goodbye to the church I had pastored for 32 years, and all the things that were so overwhelming about the future, all the decisions we needed to make but had no idea how to make them.  As I showed her my notes I said, “Look, God saw us through all of these things, He has made a way through the desert and even the wilderness, He has never left us.”  I want you to know, sometimes you have to take a long look at where you were a year or so ago, and when you do so prayerfully, honestly, you will often see that God never abandoned you in the midst of what you were facing. 

Though I cannot give you an exact date when Isaiah 43 struck me in a new way, it was in my current and somewhat fragmented season of life.  Anyone studying the passage in its original context would know this was a passage proclaiming good news, great love, and amazing grace to God’s people Israel who had been in exile for so long.  Isaiah 42 ends by making it clear that Israel’s woes were brought on by themselves as they closed their ears to God’s voice and turned a blind eye to all God wanted them to do.  But Isaiah 43 says that, even with that rebellion in mind, even with the reality of a people who had abandoned Him, God did not abandon them.  He reminds them that He created them, He shaped them, He redeemed them out of bondage and called them His own.  They discovered as they passed through the waters of the Red Sea that God was with them, making a way.  When they crossed the Jordan river, He was there.  When they walked through fire, be it the fiery heat of the desert, or the ordeal of oppression and exile, or even of judgement, God was still there.  And the words that stand out to me are these, Isaiah 43:4, “You are precious and honored in my sight because I love you.”   Do you understand?  Here was a God who knew them – who knew what they were like, and yet loved them still.

As I struggled with the realities of my life after the crisis, I pushed back against God a bit when I began to once again read these verses.  Was there a bit of anger in me, a bit of testiness, a feeling of being betrayed, let down, abandoned?  And are there times when those feelings barge in again when things don’t go well, when stress is too much, when my damaged health dumps yet something else on me?  Yes, of course, and that is likely true of many reading these words.  And I could say to God, yes, in hindsight you were with me in all that happened and has happened – but I have to tell you, looking back it seems like it took months to pass through that water, and the rivers still threaten me at times, and sometimes, sometimes the fire burns and there seems to be no end in sight!

And yet… I remember another crisis moment some five decades ago when I, as a 18 year old searching for meaning and hope and God, knelt down beside my bed in a college dormitory and prayed.  That was not a crisis of my body but of my soul, and I still remember the prayer that catapulted me into a new season of life.  It was not the most eloquent prayer, but it was a climactic prayer: “God, I am told that you love me, that you have always loved me and want to walk with me through life, and that is why Jesus went to the cross, opened His arms wide in suffering love, to embrace the likes of me.  Well Lord, if you want me, I want you too!”  Oh, my life changed in unexpected ways as a result of that prayer.  Holly knew something had happened right away, for a dark cynical streak in my life lifted.  My college advisors knew as well, for I lost all interest in my major and, in the end, pursued seven majors before I finally graduated some seven years after I began.  And on one star-filled night with my heart in turmoil, I walked the campus struggling with the future, crying out to God for Him to lead me, and experiencing a strange peace that only He could give.  I determined to walk the path before me, follow the light provided, and go through the doors opened, never dreaming that it would lead to God calling me to become a pastor.  Looking back now I realize that it took three years of walking with the Lord for me to hear His call in my life… and it has taken me the same amount of time to get to the place where I am as I write these words, reflecting on what has become so meaningful to me, and hopefully taking you on a journey of healing and hope in the midst of your own brokenness, your own time of darkness, whatever that may be for you.

It can take time to walk through the crisis of broken health, the grief of a lost loved one, the shadow of a new season of life that seems foreign, the sudden awareness that your days are numbered.  There are times we may feel alone, and, in fact, we may truly be alone in what life has thrown at us.  The waters rise, the rivers rage, the fire burns, I know that, I have experienced it, and I sense many who are reading this have as well.  But return to those words in Isaiah 43. Hear what the Lord who created us, formed us, and through Jesus’ life-death-resurrection has redeemed us, says to us now:  Don’t be afraid.  I will be with you.  You are precious to me and honored.  I love you.

Let those words wash over you in the midst of what you are facing.  Immerse yourself in what God says about you.  Find strength, hope, and even faith to go on.  You may wonder if you deserve such love and protection – I still have days when I struggle with that.  But then I remember, God spoke these words to a people who were rebelling against Him, and we are no different.  The truth of the matter is that we can never deserve a love as great as we see in Jesus.  And, it is true, we sometimes walk away from that love, just as the young man did in Mark 10, asking Jesus what he needed to do to have eternal life.  Jesus’ words seemed like too much to the young man, and he walked away – and yet we see these words, Mark 10:21, “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”  Jesus does the same for you and me.  Don’t forget how Romans 5 describes us – while we were helpless, ungodly, even enemies of God, Jesus died for us – why would He do that?  Because we are precious to Him.  Because He loves us.  He is with us when the waters get deep, the rivers threaten to sweep us away, the fires burn.  He is with us, even if we don’t know it, even when we are completely unaware…

Writer Keith Miller, in his book of hope entitled Habitations of Dragons, speaks of a tender scene in his own life.  In the middle of a winter’s night his daughter cried out in the darkness, “Daaady!”  He was surprised, for his children normally called out for their mother, but he got up, stumbled into her room, and carried her into the bathroom.  The only light was a soft red glow shining on her face from the gas wall heater. 

He sat her on the little potty chair and bent over to hold her so she wouldn’t fall.  Her head lolled gently to one side and then she would catch herself, but never quite awaken.  He would steady her, protecting her, holding her. 

As Miller looked at his daughter, he was filled with the most amazing sense of gratitude and love.  He tousled her long blond hair, kissed her gently on the nose, and thought, “Someday you and I will remember this as a time of great closeness.” He pictured in his mind talking about this night when she was a grown girl, how they both would smile and laugh and remember. 

But then he realized the truth, she would never remember this midnight closeness, she had been asleep the entire time he was holding her.  She would not remember, for she was not even aware...

And so many times in life we are not aware either.  We are not aware of how God cares for us during those long nights of doubt, those times when we are spiritually asleep, oblivious to His presence, overwhelmed by pain or grief or darkness.  We are not aware of even a fraction of what God does for us, how in his care he sustains us and walks with us and picks us up and loves us.  During such times it is so important to return to a passage like Isaiah 43, to hear those words again, to let them soak in and calm you down, give you peace, grant you hope:  “He who created you… He who formed you… fear not, says the Lord, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… you are precious and honored in my sight, and… I love you.”  

Amen!